First dates can be nerve-wracking no matter how many times you’ve been on one before. Hell, sometimes even the second and third dates can make you anxious. You’re still in that occasionally-awkward getting to know each other face and you’re still asking a lot of questions. Unfortunately for men, women can be kind of guarded and getting them to answer the questions you’re dying to have answers to can be next to impossible. Ask a question the wrong way and she’ll go into defense mode and close off all of her personality to you. Your goal is to get to know her, not push her away. You still need to make sure you know the real her so you can judge whether or not the relationship is going to last, so you need to know how to ask the right questions in the right ways.
About Her Relationship History
This is a tough road to walk with any woman, because it’s usually the one thing that she doesn’t want to talk about it. If you can get her to talk about whether or not her last relationship was ended by her or her ex, it’ll give you a basis to start forming carefully-worded questions around. The key is to not dig for information and to instead to ask a question here and there. If she talks about something that annoys her, ask if that was a contributing factor to the last breakup. It’ll be seen as a casual question rather than probing and she’s more likely to answer it. When it comes to questions about her past relationships, you have to work any questions you might have into conversations about other things so she doesn’t really see it as an interrogation about what she might view as her past mistakes.
About What She Does for a Living
This one’s obvious. You don’t want a woman grilling you about what you do for a living and especially not how much you make. It’s healthy to ask her what she does and if she enjoys it, but it’s probably better to let that topic come up naturally in conversation instead of asking right off the bat about it. If the conversation progresses through your date, it will inevitably come up inadvertently. Maybe she’ll mention a hard day at work on a second or third date and you’ll finally have your opportunity to ask her what it was that she did, again.
If she has a career that you weren’t expecting her to have or one that you don’t have a lot of experience with, don’t judge her for it and if she doesn’t seem to be comfortable talking about it after mentioning it once, don’t push the topic. All that’s going to do is make her not want to talk to you anymore, least of all about things like that which, let’s be real, you need to know if you want the relationship to go anywhere. Don’t ask about how much she makes at her job either. Let’s face it, that’s a sore spot for everyone at one point or another, and you don’t want to push her away with overly invasive questions.
About What She Wants out of the Relationship
Finding this out is crucial to whether or not your relationship is going to work, right? It’s true that this is something the two of you need to discuss no matter if you risk offending her or not, but there are ways to get around it without making it seem like you’re interrogating her about her future with you. Similar to asking about her past relationships, you’ll see opportunities to ask about where she sees your relationship going pop up in normal conversation. Besides, this is something that doesn’t need discussed until quite a few dates into your relationship, since you don’t want to worry about getting too serious too fast. If she doesn’t want to talk about what she wants out of a relationship (or on the flipside, if she wants to talk about it and it’s completely different from what you want) things probably aren’t going to work out.